The breakup of a marriage is tough on everyone, but it’s going to be especially tough on your children. It’s going to take time for your child to cope and heal from the pain cause by the breakup of their parents. And while you most likely can’t make the hurt go away all together, there are some rules you can consider to help get your child through the disappointments that come with a divorce.
Let Your Child Know He or She is Loved
More often than not, children involved in a divorce will put the blame on themselves. It’s important to not only make sure they know that none of it is their fault and that they will always be loved no matter what happens. Be present in your children’s lives and be sure to reinforce your love through your actions.
Tell it Like it Is
Don’t sugarcoat the situation. Be honest with your children when talking to them about the divorce and encourage them to ask any questions they might have. Make sure he or she feels comfortable talking to you and sharing their feelings.
In order to better cope with a separation, children need to talk about it. Encourage them to talk to you, and make sure they know they can come to you at any time with their concerns or feelings. In encouraging them to communicate, you’ll both feel better being able to talk things through.
Never Fight in Front of Your Children
Fighting in front of your children will only hinder the healing and coping process. If you feel you and your partner are about to get into a heated conversation, take it outside or someplace where your children aren’t present and cannot hear the argument.
Provide Peaceful Transitions
Things are going to be rough to start, and that’s expected. A divorce is not a peaceful process. But helping your children transition into their new way of life should definitely be peaceful. Allow them the adjust and cope in their own time. Be civil to each other, especially while your children are trying their best to transition to this new path where their parents are no longer together.
Let Children Know Disappointment is Okay to Express
Everyone involved in a divorce it going to experience disappointment in one form or another. And it’s important to let your children know that it’s okay for them to feel disappointed in you and your ex. Being disappointed is a healthy reaction to a negative situation and allows your child to not only express him or herself, but allows them to properly cope and heal.
When it comes to getting a divorce, make sure your children’s wellbeing are tending to and heard. Divorce it never a pleasant process, but in listening to your children and allowing them to express their feelings and emotions, they will be able to better cope and heal from the pain of dealing with their parents splitting up.